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St. Patty’s Day, And The Drama Continues…

I mistakenly thought that once my roommate had moved out of the apartment, that all the drama surrounding this issue would be gone. Yet, not only am I still experiencing anxiety and emotional meltdowns on seemingly a daily basis, the problems are starting to affect the Guy I Am Currently Dating. He’s said he’s concerned about his physical health, which has not been good since all these problems started, but I think he’s starting to show signs of severe anxiety. As someone who knows how debilitating anxiety can be, this upsets and concerns me.

Last week, we had to make arrangements to sign the lease ASAP, because the situation went from my ex-roommate giving 60 days notice, to saying he was leaving in two weeks, to saying he wanted to leave in two days to see his parents in Jacksonville before starting a new job. We re-arranged our lives to make this work out on such unrealistically short notice, and by last Tuesday night, he was loading up his friend’s SUV and moving out.

Problem is, he never finished moving out. He asked for a key so he could come back and finish cleaning, packing and moving the next day at noon. It’s Saturday, and he hasn’t returned, which wouldn’t bother me if not for the fact that he has a key and access to the apartment when nobody is here. I packed all his stuff for him, cleaned out his room, did all the heavy lifting…all he has to do is get his stuff, return my key, and we’re done. Arrangement over.

He also agreed, after giving me 60 days notice, that he’d pay me $380 he owed me for the past half-month’s rent, plus rent unpaid from last month. Since he was supposedly leaving on Wednesday, but getting paid on Friday, we agreed that he could pay off all the outstanding utilities (totaling about $360), and we’d call it a day. Of course, Friday came around, and he told me “I don’t have the money to pay the bills. I have to pay other stuff instead.”

I, of course, became very upset. I informed him that this simply wasn’t fair; he moved out giving me virtually no notice, leaving me on the hook for all the bills, and kept making agreements that he simply broke without any concern for anyone else. The cable was set to be shut off in two days; the only reason I let it go for so long is that he swore up and down at least 7 times he’d pay all the bills on Friday.

When I mentioned this, he said, “Look, I’m being nice. The utilities are in my name. I can just call and have them shut off now, but I’m giving you 21 days to get them changed over. You’re not getting the money, I don’t have it, and if you keep bitching about it, I’ll just have everything shut off now. Accept it and move on. ”

I learned an extremely valuable lesson about letting anyone have control over my future, and it’s a giant kick in the proverbial balls, let me tell you. I also learned the truth of the motto, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. If you think people change, you’re a fucking idiot.” I’d been making some advances in the arena of trusting people and allowing people into my life, and I’ve been set back approximately 5 years recently.

Today, I looked into getting all the utilities changed over into my name. Apparently, you can’t just DO that. You need to establish new service under the new resident’s name, including paying a whole crapload of deposits and fees to do so. The good news is, the utility companies are allowing me to switch things over fairly easily. The bad news is, it’s going to cost me the $400 my roommate owes me but will never give me just for deposits. Plus, I have to pay the bills that he didn’t pay his share of, and in two weeks, will have to pay rent on my own at the end of the month.

60 days notice means legally, you cannot shut off utilities on your tenant, de facto or not. It means that you have 60 days to vacate or change the lease over, and in the meantime, you cannot be evicted or thrown out on the street. He was not doing me a favour at all by saying “I’m not paying you what I owe you, and if you bitch about it, I’ll just shut off the utilities that are in my name.” He just knew I was in a position where I had no other choice and exploited that.

Today, I texted my ex-roommate to let him know that I was approved for gas and electric, and he told me that one of the utilities would be done on the 25th, the other on the 30th. I don’t know if this was because I mentioned that I was working to get things switched over by that point in time, or he was totally dishonouring the 21-day-agreement he made yesterday.

Weirdly enough, it seems like my roommate is still in Atlanta. He quit his job, left the apartment, filed for bankruptcy, didn’t pay anyone a penny, and last time I heard, was hanging out with some girl in Austell he was hooking up with 2 days before he left, and couldn’t come pick up his stuff because she had his car.

Seems like some really shady business to me. I’m just saying. I hate when I know intuitively that something weird is up and people are lying, but can’t figure out why they make the choices they do.

I am just at the point where I don’t care. I want the drama to be over so I can start with the new drama of living an independent life, where I have lots of time to myself (the extrovert in me isn’t accepting this as happily as I’d imagined) and I have to work more/make a lot more money. I just kind of want the negativity and source of anxiety *gone*

I don’t remember the last time I felt so simultaneously loved and unloved at the same time..because while this whole situation has made me feel abandoned, betrayed, and kind of treated like a piece of trash, the support and love and help I’m getting from the people around me has been amazing. I had a lovely dinner last night at a Southern restaurant that had adequate food but made killer old-fashioned cocktails, and conversation with good friends who really go out of their way to pick me up when I’m feeling down.

I’m off to celebrate St. Patty’s Day with some of my favourite people: the trivia folks at Dagwood’s! No liquor license, but at least they have garlic cheese sticks. And I did some drinking last night, though not too much…seems I’m becoming temperate in my old age. ;P

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