A strong and independent female friend on FB put up a great, self-validating post that inspired me to follow in her footsteps. Sometimes, it’s necessary to not only define who you are and what you want from the world, but what you do not. Here’s me. I’ve been self-validated. :P :

“I am a woman. I am opinionated. I am more spiritual than you probably know, but not religious. I am a liberal. I am a feminist, but don’t fit the preconceptions and stereotypes that many associate with that word. I take a non-traditional approach to most things, but I’m actually quite old-fashioned in many ways. I float in my own direction, but I’m not lacking in ambition. I am loving, but am willing to draw the line when someone isn’t treating me as they should. I am compassionate, but not a doormat. I’m not the type of girl who wants you to ask her out. I’m the type of girl who wants to be courted. If you don’t bring flowers to a second date, I’ll assume you want to be “just friends”.

I believe in soulmates, but not in the singular form. I believe we each have many people who help us grow into the person we’re meant to become, and are important pieces of our journeys. I believe I am inherently non-monogamous and don’t put labels and limits on love, partnerships, and sexuality. I also believe that openness and honesty are the most important things in making any relationship work. I’m not into judging what makes others happy, even if they see the world differently. I try to learn and understand from those different from me, and to see situations from multiple perspectives. I have no tolerance for oppression, harassment, bigotry, or hatred of any kind. I boycott things that harm others or don’t align with my personal beliefs, or at least I try. I am pro-choice. I am against capital punishment. I take bugs outside instead of killing them. I believe in equal rights for everyone. I think marijuana and prostitution should be legalised, as they are personal choices.

I am theatrical and over-the-top. I am also empathetic and a great listener. I am laid-back about some things, but doing something badly makes me feel more self-conscious than most. I often think how much better I’d be if only I were more perfect in some way, although I know I’d still somehow feel inferior because of something. I take it really personally when someone with whom I’m infatuated doesn’t reciprocate those feelings, or only sees me as amusing on a surface level. I take it really personally when someone criticises me or points out my flaws. In fact, I take most things really personally, and am consequently harder on myself than I’d ever be on anyone else.I am a writer, but I know actions speak louder than any words ever strung together. I write romantic poetry, sometimes for people who’ll never know how I feel about them. I am attracted to those who believe chivalry is not dead, and loyalty is the greatest attribute you’ll find in another person. I’ve fallen down, but I’ve gotten up, every single time. If you think I’ll back down, I won’t. If you think you intimidate me, you don’t. I am a devoted friend, and a bitter enemy. I forgive either too often, or close my heart off forever. My greatest fear is not that others won’t love me, but that I am inherently not worthy of being loved. I am charismatic and extroverted, but also highly introspective and often misanthropic. I treasure my relationships with others, but value my independence. I believe real love means never trying to impose limitations on another person or keep them from growing, even if you end up growing apart.

I am witty, but use snarky remarks to deflect my true feelings on occasion. I attract without trying, and repel the same way. I cry often, but I hate doing it in front of others, even at sad movies. I hug people. I try to make the people who mean something to me feel valued on a regular basis, because life is short. I am a good conversationalist, but I dislike small-talk. The psychology of human beings and philosophies on life are an endless source of fascination for me, so the one-dimensional isn’t for me. I am a city girl, but I feel strangely centred camping with friends, without technology. I love music, television, and books; they feed my soul.

I am oddly intuitive. I have psychic dreams and conscious visions. If you’re a certain kind of person, I can see into your soul, and into your future. I am right so often it scares me. I rarely give up on things or people I value, but am too quick to give up on myself when I don’t succeed. I am impulsive, but I am often fearful of change. I am assertive, but less secure in myself than I’d like. I am highly intelligent, but terribly disorganized and scatterbrained. I am not naive, but also not unfeeling. People take me less seriously than I merit, or underestimate me, because they haven’t put in what it takes to see who I really am. I often care much more than I let on, and let people mean more to me than they should. I am easy to meet, but hard to get to know. I am friendly, but distrustful.

I love life, but my greatest fear is what happens when it ends. I have a chequered past, an uncertain present, and if you want to be a part of my future, you should probably keep the safety belt buckled, because I’m not sure I’ll ever know what to expect, but it’s bound to be a crazy ride. I am not defined by those who judge me, nor those who reject me or wish to break me, but it doesn’t mean I don’t cry when you’re not looking. I demand from others only what I am willing to give. I may seem high-maintenance, but I will also change your life simply by being a part of it. I am who I am, and I don’t think any of these things conflict. Accept me as I am or leave now. I made a promise to myself this year and I’m going to keep it.”

I hope more women decide to take the time to self-validate, to take a look at the good and the bad, and to accept themselves just as they are. There’s a world full of beautiful people out there!


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