All summer, like every summer, I’ve been addicted to watching the show Big Brother. Since we all know that I’m a reality TV junkie, and am particularly fond of this one, having gone through the audition process firsthand, the idea of three months with a reality show that’s on three hours a week always kind of makes me “YAY!”. And, this year, being sick and largely relegated to my bedroom all summer, I ordered Showtime so I’d get to see the additional “late night show” every night, all summer. (yes, I’m a lame geek.)

This season, there was a particular player, Rachel, who returned from last season, one that everyone else in America (and on the show) couldn’t stand, but I felt a particular kinship with. I suppose she reminded me a lot of me—intelligent, overemotional, slightly co-dependent, insecure, a little too flamboyant, occasionally a “mean girl”, a bad habit of sharing all her feelings and wanting to give up when things fall apart—-but with an outgoing personality and general love of life, and deep down, a good heart. Not to mention the bright red hair, pale skin, and some serious curves. Granted, she’s much more interesting to spend 70 days camping in a studio set than I’d ever be, but I found it very easy to relate to her, nevertheless.

Throughout the summer, I had a number of negative health experiences, including several trips to the emergency room and unpleasant drug withdrawals. And, coincidentally, it seemed every day I was having a particularly bad day, Rachel was on the block and looked ready to get shown the door. It became an odd superstition with me, that if Rachel didn’t get evicted on Big Brother, somehow, I was going to be OK. I related with the underdog, of course, superstitiously believing that if this girl who resembled me in a lot of ways and didn’t consider herself emotionally strong under pressure could pull through difficult times, I could too.

So, congratulations to Rachel Reilly for winning the whole shebang on Big Brother 13 tonight. It proves that it doesn’t matter if people love you or hate you as long as you look around for all the self-confidence you have somewhere inside you and put it to the best use possible. And as far as superstitions go, I guess I can take it as a really good omen.

Oh, yeah, and CBS…you should have put me on your show almost a decade ago. I still have the cute duckie PJs from the audition process. (I thought it would be cute to include a “Here’s what you can expect seeing me getting up every morning.” component to my interview.) Maybe there will be another crazy video forthcoming over the next few months, just for kicks and giggles.(It’s not like my life is too interesting or scandalous anymore. I’d have made better reality TV back then.) But, you know, if I’m alive and all. :P

Time to start getting addicted to the new Survivor, which I actually found dull, based on the 90 minute premiere tonight. I’m sure it’ll get a little better as time goes on.